Building Better Relationships (Part 1)

There are many stories about people who get into fights and conflicts about crazy things and the terrible results.

In Orlando, a 48-year-old man was shot to death by his wife after a fight over the satellite TV controls.

In California, a man was stabbed to death by his girlfriend because he brought home a McDonalds ham, egg, and cheese bagel instead of the two Egg Mcmuffins that she’d asked for. (Husbands, let that be a lesson to all of you -- get it right!)

In Dallas, a 37-year-old man was beaten to death by his roommate after a fight over the thermostat setting in their house.

In Maryland, a 15-year-old boy has been charged with in the shooting death of a man who was playing reggae music on his car stereo. Apparently, the boy really hates reggae music.

Although these are extreme cases and responses, it can be difficult maintaining positive relationships with others. As Christians we will have times of conflict; sometimes with a neighbor who seems unbearable, sometimes with an employer, customer, or government official who seems overly demanding or unfair, sometimes with a relative, fellow Christian or even another church. The answer to handling these type problems is not revenge, hostility or avoidance of the problem, which is not a real possibility anyways. What does the Bible (our perfect instruction book) tell us about relationships?

The Bible tells us that we are to "Do everything possible on your part to live in peace with everybody." (Romans 12:18) So our need and goal should be to know how to build better relationships.

Be Proactive In Avoiding Future Conflicts

Most people are reactive that is they wait for conflict to manifest itself and intensify before they do anything to try and resolve it. This is better than ignoring the problem or resorting to worldly solutions (hostility, revenge, etc.) but in many cases we can avoid conflict altogether by being proactive. We need to use godly wisdom to see potential conflicts and respond accordingly.

This is true when dealing with neighbors, employers, or anyone else. It is much easier to avoid problems than it is to solve them later. In the same way that it is easier to use sunscreen now that it is to treat skin cancer later.

Deal Honestly With Others

It is amazing how many conflicts are caused or magnified by simple dishonesty. This is a common theme in Genesis, especially in the story of how Jacob’s dishonesty led to conflict Esau and how Laban’s dishonesty led to conflict with Jacob. In Ephesians 4:25 we are told to “put off falsehood and speak truthfully to your neighbor...” The context of this Scripture passage deals with unity so it again is showing us how dishonesty spoils positive relationships.

In practice this means being honest but kind about our feelings, situations, likes and dislikes, etc

Are you building Positive Relationships?